Numbed Chill
by Noename
Summary: One-Shot. The warm keys of the piano suddenly turned cold as though frozen...Malfoy dinner party.


A/N: This is just a one shot that suddenly began to play in my head when I started to listen to Linkin Parks Numb. It was the piano version, and there was only piano. It was so beautiful that my muse just went, "I'm baaaaaaack." And I started writing. Kind of almost burned the house down because I forgot the pizza was in the oven when I was writing this, but its done all the same.

Disclaimer: Plots mine, characters/Harry Potter are not mine, and the song is by Linkin Park. I don't know who did the piano version, but whoever it was thats theres too.

Numbed Chill

Draco sat in the cold desolate silence of his room back at the manor gazing out the window that he so yearned to open, to feel the air on his face for the first time in weeks.

The distant sounds of his mother and father yelling at eachother caused him to burry his face under his pillow. Forcing him to look away from the freedom that lay just outside his window.

Suddenly he was snapped out of his own world when the clicking and clacking of his fathers steel toe boots began to grow louder. Draco shot up in bed and a cold sweat immediatly jumped out of his skin and ran down the side of his face, he held back a whimper when his father burst through the door and approached him lustily.

"Father! I didn't mean to-"

"I don't care what you didn't mean to do, the fact is that you failed me, and now, you will please me in ways that Potter can't beat. Show me you can be something that Potter can't be!" His father yelled, his eyes wide like a lunatics he grabbed Draco's chin and forced his lips onto his son's. Draco squeezed his eyes shut, but did not wiggle too much. The bruising kiss would only become more brutal if he did so, and he knew it.

"After the dinner party tonight, you will entertain me." Lucius swung his cloak around him as he left the room. "You will be playing piano for the dinner guests." And he left.

The desolate silence and chill swept through the arm and ran a chill down Draco's spine. He felt his eyes begin to sting and the all too familiar feeling washed over him. The feeling that he was about to break down into a fit of tears, he hastily wiped away the stray salty water that streaked down his cheek and strode over to his closet.

The main rule of the Malfoy household was the one that he broke most often. Don't cry. No matter what happened he wasn't supposed to cry. Mind you thats not how things always had been with his family. When he was younger he was alowd to do anything, his father was well, a father. At the age of eight everything had started to fall apart.

His piano lessons weren't going as planned, so his father had hitten him. Eventually it all escalated to the night of Dracos' ninth birthday party. He hadn't played the piece he had been working on for awhile correctly, so his father threw a holy hissy fit after the guests had left and raped Draco.

Nontheless Draco still had a love for his father, just as a father. While his father, had more. He had a love for Draco in a sexual matter that sickened Draco when he thought of it. Draco grabbed a white long sleeved dress silk shirt with ruffles, a pair of tight pants that were tucked into knee high leather boots.

He had to look good, and he had to play good.

Draco began to shuffle through his pieces, trying to find the one he played best. And thats when he found it, the one that he he flow through without even thinking, but would his father really except that piece. This was the piece noone knew he was even learning. He practiced it when his father and mother were gone. The house elves were the only ones that had heard it so far.

The paper was fine and crip in Draco's hand and he pulled it out of the pile; staring at it he flipped through it. He wouldn't even have to have to look at it. That would impress people, maybe even his father. But the song...Draco couldn't help but think that his father's lips would curl in spite of himself infront of all the other guests.

A sad smile krept across Draco's lips and he put the piece back in the pile. He grabbed another and made his way from his room to make sure the piano would be in tune. It was a bad habit and he knew it would be as he had just practiced acouple of pieces the other night.

"Draco," with that one word Draco suddenly felt his heart racing. "What pieces are you playing?"

"Kyrie and a few that I have by memory." Draco responded not daring to turn to look at his father while he spoke. Afraid to look into those lustful eyes, but when his father did force him to turn around it wasn't lustful eyes he met but calm ones. Some of the guests must have already arrived.

"Master Lucius when shall we serve dinner?" A house elf came up behind Lucius and bowed so his nose touched the floor.

"When dinner is ready." Lucius turned to Draco, "you know when you're playing, do you not?"

"Tea in the study." Draco replied in absolute monatone. He was used to the routine and followed his father to where the guests sat in wait.

The cold air of the mansion nipped the back of Draco's neck and he gave an inward shiver. Nobody there seemed to care that the mansion had a certain spooky chill to it, and Draco knew why once he walked into the library where everyone waited. The house elves had lit the fire in the fireplace so it crackled and danced a way Draco had never seen a fire do in his house. There were candles lit around the room on the walls and he assumed there was some heat running through the room done by magic.

With a silent heavy sigh that seemed to come from his feet he went over to the teenagers that were attending and mingled with them like he had always done at the dinner parties his family liked to throw so often. Usually it was to show off something new, or invite all the death eaters together for some celebration. Draco hated it all, and his father didn't seem to realize as he was already planning the party for after Draco's inutiation. If Draco could help it there would be no party at all, or inutiation for that matter.

Mingling was all that Draco did until dinner, and he sat in silence as they ate and the teens around him discussed things their parents would not have liked enthusiasticly. It was mainly muggle music and girls and boys they had in mind for dating, even though their parents had probably already set them up with someone.

Draco sat in such silence that his father was even looking worried. Draco just smiled softly at him and began on his desert. He had satten in such a cold silence with such a isolated look on his face that his father had actually cared. It made Draco want to get up and start a caloborate dance, but he decided to keep it to himself.

Eventually however Draco was forced to be social and come out of his little hiding place in the back of his head.

"Hey Draco, what are you gonna play for everybody?" Blaise a boy a lot like Draco in the sence that he refused to be broughten to Voldemort's side asked him.

"You guys will probably love the first one, not sure about the adults though." Draco smiled a sly little smile and Blaise raised his eyebrows.

"How are you going to pull it off?" Blaise asked with his head cocked to the side.

"Well, I need a second pair of hands. Its technicaly a two person song." Draco told Blaise.

Blaise seemed to know what song Draco was talking about immediatly and he agreed to do it with Draco quickly. The two followed the last remaining people into the study and made their way for the piano.

Draco breathed in the warm air and realized they were burning cinnamon. His sences high rocketed and he made his way to the piano which stood near the fire. He slid onto the bench and once he heard the clinking of china he began the piece.

Immediatly he could tell that the teenagers were smiling ear to ear with their appreciation for the song, and he could practicaly hear his father's blood boiling. He looked up into the mirror that stood on the wall across from the piano and saw his mother's sour look slowly turn into a strained smile when someone started talking to her about the piece.

The piece started off slow for a few measures, very quiet at first, and then his second hand joined in with the piece. Draco closed his eyes and let the piece carry him away.

The temperature of the room and the way the look he knew his father kept throwing over to him when noone was looking raised the hairs on the back of Draco's neck.

And thats when Draco realized he and Blaise had begun singing and he could've shotten himself.

I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

Draco's fingers found the keys that were so warm under his fingertips and he felt Blaise sway slightly beside him with the lyrics.

The two boys began to finish up the piece after singing through another verse and chorus. He could practicaly feel the heat of his fathers lips smothering his own and knew that he'd be in for it that night unless he made it up with a better piece.

But I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me

With someone dissapointed you

Draco was suddenly singing the chorus alone and Blaise was just playing the other hands, leaving Draco alone to finish the song.

"Tired of being what you want me to be." And Draco played the last three notes before Blaise walked to sit over with the others. Draco watched him go and realised the looks he was recieving from everyone else. A fear stroke his heart like a hammer fall to metal and his blood screamed through his ears.

He at first had only seen the other adults looking memorized by the piece of beauty and the way Draco and Blaise's voices had seemed to weave together with the piece and eachother. But his father's face was horrifying enough for him to have fled out the door and out of the manor's grounds.

"What a beautiful piece, it held me in such a trance. Where did you learn that, what song is it?" One of the ladies asked. Draco turned to her and did himself in. He felt like he was practicaly stabbing himself in the gut.

"I taught myself. The piece is originaly done by Linkin Park and its called Numb, but I found the piano version and decided to learn it." Draco replied obediantly before even thinking.

"Where did you find the piece, I don't recall owning it." His mother had an eyebrow cocked in challenge.

"A boy at school had it and was playing it, so I asked him if he could make me copies. Or let me copy it by hand." Draco responded. He felt like he was being interogated, under the spotlight of so many eyes. They were all gazing at him with wonderment and relaxation, except for the two pairs he feared the most.

"Which boy?" All the teens in the room were the ones that Draco was supposed to be friends with. Draco mentaly slapped himself and swallowed, his adams apple bobbed and he felt his throat tighten.

"He doesn't go to Hogwarts anymore, he was just visiting for the Triwizard tourniment. His name was Bill I think." Draco knew all too well that the man he had learned it from was in fact a Weasley and that Draco held no disregard against the family at all, but his family and friends weren't allowed to know that.

The interogation seemed to end abrubtly when conversation started up again. Lucius stood and shuffled through some pieces while talking to his son through gritted teeth.

"Bill Weasley no doubt." And he wipped out a piece for Draco to play after his chosen ones. With a twinkle of anger in his eye he walked back to the party and soon there were bouts of laughter and other random things, but Draco got too lost in his pieces to care anymore. All he felt was foreboding in the pit of his stomach welling up and stretching through his body. The warm keys of the piano suddenly turned cold as though frozen and he felt his forehead prespire.

Thats when he felt a warm hand touch his forehead and he looked up from his playing, not daring to stop.

Pancy stood there genuinely worried. Both had agreed they would probably end up getting married, although they would not love eachother. They would just be friends forced into marriage, and they knew it. It would also be a way to cover up the fact that Draco was currently dating Harry Potter.

"Whats the matter." Pancy asked, and Draco's hands paused, hovering over the keys. Was it that god damn obvious. He looked at the adults and youngers. It seemed so, Blaise was staring at him and acouple of the adults who glanced over at the sudden stop of playing creased their brows.

Draco looked up at Pancy and realized that he was going to start crying soon, and he wasn't sure why. The feeling in his gut increased when his father realized that Draco was acting up.

"Its the fear isn't it?" Pancy whispered gently sitting down and acting like they were going to play another two person piece. "And the chill you feel in your body." She added. Draco nodded stiffly and began to look for a two person piece they could talk while doing because of the simplicity of it. They would still impress, but not to the point where the adults would notice.

Pancy's hand found Draco's and caressed it softly. "It'll be okay, just breathe. It'll all be okay," Pancy kissed Draco on the cheek and continued to massage his shaking hand until it rested. Finally the began the piece and emediatly the atmosphere of the room turned to bouncy and happy. The two smiled and played across the keys extremely fast while the adults began to dance together along with some of the teens.

Draco felt the coldness of his stomach slowly ebb away when he saw his father and mother dancing. They were smiling at eachother and laughing together. They swept past the piano and Draco's smile broadened. His father was truly happy looking, his mother too. His father looked at him laughing, Draco smiled back and finished up the piece. There was clapping and the sence that the guests wanted more dancing music.

Draco stood and went to the record player. One of the only muggle things the Malfoy's owned, he put on some dancing music and everyone immediatly began to merrily smile and find partners. Draco had not seen this happen at any of the dinner's before and was slightly taken aback. But Pancys hand in his and her asking for him to dance with her pulled him back to the fact that it was happening, and it was a good thing it was.

The evening ended on a good note and Draco couldn't help but give Pancy a kiss good-bye. They were more of friends who kissed, hugged, and held hands for eachother when they knew the other one needed it. Draco felt terribly that they would never actually be in love, mostly because he knew it was what his mother had wanted. For Draco to fall in love with the girl they set him up for, because she knew how it felt when you didn't completely love the person.

But Draco was sure that that night he had seen them actually be in love, but he wasn't quite sure.

Dwelling on his thoughts is where his father found him. He came up behind him and circled his arms around Draco's waist. He licked Draco's ear and the blonde immediatly struggled and snapped free of his father's grip.

"Father! Honestly! Were you not just dancing around and laughing in there. Were you not just being a husband, being a father!" Draco's sudden outburst caused himself to get wide eyed in horror.

Lucius smacked him across the face and Draco went sprawling across the floor. "Dad..." Draco trailed off and whimpered when his father's lips crushed down onto his and muffled his cries for help. Lucius began to increase the bruising kiss and finally broke away for what seemed like century's later for Draco.

After the hours of torture in his father's bedroom he watched his dad leave the room for the first time since it started. He had always been too ashamed, but that night he wanted to meet his eyes. He suprised to find the grief, the fear, and the guilt shining at him from behind the eyes identical to his. A tear streaked down his father's cheek, and he left the room. Draco sobbed that night, but for once it was more for his father than himself. And when he woke and dressed before the sun rose he found his father still awake in the kitchen.

Draco ofcourse quickly passed the doorframe and made his way into the study. He sat on the piano bench and set his fingers on the keys. A tear streaked down his cheek and fell onto his hand, and he began to play.

His father watched from the doorway, leaning against its frame. And Draco began to sing with a shaky feeling in his lungs as the tears began to flow freely.

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface..."


End file.
